Annie Got Her Gun

Today’s blog post, in this public journal about my midlife journey, is about that hot topic: Sex. I am sure the spam block is going to be busy on this one. At least, I hope it is.

It is also about a new piece of jewellery I crafted today, which I have entitled “Annie Got Her Gun.”

And just how (you ask), am I going to tie these two topics together in one post? Well, gentle reader, let me tell you….

I recently had dinner with a good friend from high school who is dating a guy 15 years her junior. She is gorgeous, fun, smart, accomplished and a warm fuzzy. The guy is lucky. But it got me thinking about the term “cougar”, meaning an older woman who goes out with younger men, and the label makes me angry. Yes, there’s the whole “double standard” issue, but what really ticks me off is that the label is just another not-so-veiled attempt to belittle women’s sexuality and control the subliminal power of an older woman.

This truth is hard to handle for most everyone: Women in their 40’s, 50’s and up are the juiciest of them all. Or at least we are meant to be, if we allow our life’s transitions and changes – physically, mentally and emotionally. There is really no comparison between the sweet young things and their mamas. In terms of authentic juiciness, the mamas win hands down.

This is something that some younger men know. And that is why they are attracted to older women. We don’t carry the angst about things that we did when we were younger and tend to approach life with a great deal of hard won wisdom. It is a powerful and alluring combination.

But what about those of us who are in life-long relationships with spouses who are going through their own mid-life transitions? Men age differently. And their needs are every bit as valid as women’s, but when you are both going through your changes at the same time, you kind of look at each other and say, “I love you but leave me the hell alone, and I hope to see you at the other end…”

And that is why I made “Annie Got Her Gun.”

Because this lady handled her own barrel and won her man at the same time.

The above post is courtesy of Cate F Neely’s  “Heart on My Sleeve – Cate’s Blog”.  You can find her here: http://catefneely.wordpress.com/

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Wanted: canal boat with log fire on board = Mission Impossible

As a result of Sunday’s brisk walk alongside the Chesterfield Canal in bright sunshine, I have spent some considerable time surfing the net looking for a canal boat with a real fire on board.

Quite fancied a weekend break wending gracefully along our waterways with very little traffic or interference, save for a few swans and ducks.  The idea of mooring up at random isolated places for a snooze or to make a meal really appealed to this weary midlifer.  And on our chilly November nights afloat we would be very cosy snuggled up in front of a spitting and sparking log fire, sharing a glass or two or three of good red wine.

One would think that it would be easy to organise this simple midlife short break request.  Many of the boat hire companies offer winter breaks afloat with every conceivable comfort; however the bottom line reality is somewhat different.

Most of Friday would be taken up with training and familiarising ourselves with the mechanics of canal cruising.  Training?  Surely it can’t be that difficult.  And you can only moor up in specified places apparently.  Where’s the freedom in that?  Failure to locate a single available canal boat with a solid fuel fire was the final straw of frustration; my starry-eyed midlife plan for a relaxing weekend break was blown completely out of the water.

It finally occurred to me that we could book a very nice hotel, not floating of course but hey ho; we could have a spacious room (not just 7 feet wide), a hot tub, a huge bed and all mod cons for considerably less cost than the narrowboat idea.  Think we’ll do that and leave the canal boat plan for a summer time adventure.  Besides, all those lock gates look like incredibly hard work.  Hardly be a holiday would it?

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