Spring Lamb

Yesterday saw us inadvertently exploring remote parts of Lincolnshire, our home county.  We took a wrong turning in the car, which is easily done in our “outback”.  Single track roads with no passing places are always entertaining when meeting the odd motorist daft enough to travel these ancient tracks and lanes.

The wonderful thing about this particular slice of  English countryside is that I am instantly taken back to my childhood days of huge, wild hedgerows and small grassy meadows; a time before the fashion for monstrous open fields became the norm.  And although it is not quite officially spring here in the UK, the world has a distinctly spring-like feel to it.  The hedgerows are itching to burst into their unkempt green spring splendour; and the birds are twittering with excitement that winter is almost over.

Like most British rural counties, Lincolnshire has its fair share of sheep, and of course, spring lambs at this time of year.  The ones in the photographs were spotted at Spridlington, close to my parents’ farm.

So it’s official in my midlife mind.  The longest, coldest UK winter we’ve had for many years is over.  And spring is here, with its snowdrops, crocuses, daffodils, lambs, birdsong; and the promise of green-ness.  What joy.

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New Year Resolutions

It’s that time of year again when people are harping on about how they’re resolving to improve themselves and their lives in 2010.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Self-improvement is always a good thing.  And this particular New Year could quite easily be seen as a crucial time for personal commitment to major changes or doing something amazing; after all it is the start of a whole new decade.

Just browsing through magazines, and on the internet over the last few days, it occurs to me that many of us are likely to set ourselves unattainable targets and unrealistic goals this New Year based on what it is we think we should be trying to achieve, as dictated to us by random spoon-fed information. It also occurs to me that most of us will be setting ourselves up for a fall.  And consequent disappointment.  And ultimately feeling rubbish about ourselves.

I’m a real sucker myself for information and advice on “how to …”.  I’ve soaked up entire libraries of it over the years.  I’ve implemented some; completely dismissed most of it.  There’s no shortage of techniques one can use to achieve great things, and I don’t doubt that they will all work in their own way for different people.  Visualisation is a popular theory and if applied religiously we will get exactly what we desire.  Apparently.  This New Year I’m going to utilise fantasising, dreaming, visualisation, and developing myself a positive mantra or two, to achieve incredible things.  I reckon if I work hard enough at this then that so far elusive date with the beautiful Jude Law will actually happen.  No, not a word please … Anything is possible.  You know that.

The beautiful Jude Law

I shall also be exercising determination (that’s realistic?) in my quest to stop smoking.  I can actually visualise myself as a non-smoker as I did manage to abstain for a full three years before starting again.  This to me is a realistic goal, although there is no point in my taking advantage of the many expensive aids available to achieve a smoke-free existence, as they’ve all fallen by the wayside in previous attempts.  Point is – how much do I want to give up smoking?  Very much.  And that’s the key that will ultimately unlock the “non smoker” box for me.  How badly do I want to spend time with Jude Law?  God, that would be amazing.  But it’s not going to happen.  That bloody Sienna Miller is back in the frame now.   Be realistic Sooz, and slot in another DVD.

Getting fit absolutely has to be on my list this year.  I’m no longer a spring chicken; a midlife woman to be honest, and know that I have to work at it these days, but there’s no way I’m going to saddle myself with the obligatory gym membership.  I know that I’d start off with the best of intentions but then fail to find the time further down the line.  It’ll have to be option #2 – we’ll buy a treadmill and install it in the garage, because I know that I would definitely go for a trot in my ‘jamas at 6am before anyone else is awake.

Another resolution of mine is to spend more time with my friends, and be better at staying in touch with people. (Hold tight Bernadette, I know I’ve not replied to your recent letter; I’m not going to – I’m coming to visit you instead.)

The goals and targets I set myself for 2010 will stretch me, and at the same time they will be achievable (but not too easy), otherwise the whole exercise would be pointless.  I’ll have a few specifics.  Like breaking my current addiction to Millionaire’s Flapjack.  Mostly, though, I’m aiming to go for the general theories outlined below, all to do with ongoing development and attitude as I’m really not in favour of torturing myself unnecessarily.  Self-flagellation does not float my boat.

TEN SIMPLE TRUTHS THAT LEAD TO AN AMAZING LIFE:

1.  Say Yes to Stress

“An amazing life requires resilience.”

2.  If Not Now, When?

“An amazing life requires living in the moment.”

3.  The Light at the End of the Tunnel

“An amazing life requires optimism.”

4.  It Is What It Is

“An amazing life requires acceptance.”

5.  Laugh It Up!

“An amazing life requires humour.”

6.  Put a Spin on It

“An amazing life requires creativity.”

7.  Too Much of a Good Thing Can Be Too Much

“An amazing life requires moderation.”

8.  Just Show Up

“An amazing life requires responsibility.”

9.  But What Does It All Mean?

“An amazing life requires meaning.”

10.  Join The Party!

“An amazing life requires connection.”

These ten simple truths are the basis of one of the best books I’ve ever read –

“Life Is Short – Wear Your Party Pants”  by Loretta Laroche

Loretta Laroche's "Life Is Short, Wear Your Party Pants"

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Wanted: canal boat with log fire on board = Mission Impossible

As a result of Sunday’s brisk walk alongside the Chesterfield Canal in bright sunshine, I have spent some considerable time surfing the net looking for a canal boat with a real fire on board.

Quite fancied a weekend break wending gracefully along our waterways with very little traffic or interference, save for a few swans and ducks.  The idea of mooring up at random isolated places for a snooze or to make a meal really appealed to this weary midlifer.  And on our chilly November nights afloat we would be very cosy snuggled up in front of a spitting and sparking log fire, sharing a glass or two or three of good red wine.

One would think that it would be easy to organise this simple midlife short break request.  Many of the boat hire companies offer winter breaks afloat with every conceivable comfort; however the bottom line reality is somewhat different.

Most of Friday would be taken up with training and familiarising ourselves with the mechanics of canal cruising.  Training?  Surely it can’t be that difficult.  And you can only moor up in specified places apparently.  Where’s the freedom in that?  Failure to locate a single available canal boat with a solid fuel fire was the final straw of frustration; my starry-eyed midlife plan for a relaxing weekend break was blown completely out of the water.

It finally occurred to me that we could book a very nice hotel, not floating of course but hey ho; we could have a spacious room (not just 7 feet wide), a hot tub, a huge bed and all mod cons for considerably less cost than the narrowboat idea.  Think we’ll do that and leave the canal boat plan for a summer time adventure.  Besides, all those lock gates look like incredibly hard work.  Hardly be a holiday would it?

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Ten Tips for Midlife Happiness

These ten tips for midlife happiness were sent to me by my dear friend, Edwina; the pictures are amusing and they are worth sharing so thank you Edwina, and here they are:

1.  Stay out of trouble

2.  Aim for greater heights

3.  Stay focused on  your job

4.  Exercise to maintain good health

5.  Practice team work

6.  Rely on your trusted partner to watch your back. Take your time trusting others.

7.  Save for rainy days

8.  Rest and relax

9.  Always make time to smile

10.  Realise that nothing is impossible

And finally, one to make you smile ..

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Midlife shopping experience in South Yorkshire. Fashion conscious? I think not.

It occurs to me that huge chunks of the British population really do not care what they look like.  This opinion was formed whilst shopping in a large South Yorkshire town a good few miles away from my home this afternoon.

The place has a fantastic market; the best for miles around I’d say.  If it’s food you’re after then this market is short of nothing.  I’ve never seen so many meat stalls, fish stalls, fruit and vegetable stalls, cheese stalls and delicatessen stalls anywhere before.  I love the place for fresh food shopping.  I would suggest, however, that you don’t go browsing in the food halls with an empty stomach, because you’ll spend more than you intended, guaranteed.

This busy town also has a great indoor shopping mall, recently extended to house some of the best shops and brands known to the UK.  There are some marvellous designer shops tucked away down side streets as well, with window displays to die for.

Midlife women shopping in South Yorkshire town

But the people walking about.  Dear, oh dear.  They are a sight to behold.  Well, most of them I’d say.  Today I’ve seen young and middle aged women with tatty hair, in baggy dresses with anoraks over; young men and midlife men in ill-fitting jeans and cheap shirts; and numerous teenagers dressed in shell-suit style fabrics with scruffy trainers.  There was a distinct lack of well dressed people out and about.  And every time I go there I think the same thing.

Ill-dressed midlife men hanging out in South Yorkshire town

This town has a busy, somewhat affluent feel to it.  The shops are full to brimming with fashionable and attractive clothes.  So why does the population here appear to own nothing but mismatched clothes from jumble sales or charity shops?  And more to the point, how on earth do the shops survive?  Who the hell is buying their goods?  Because it’s definitely not the local population this midlifer was shopping with today.

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It is still possible to live the “Good Life”

Called to see some friends for coffee yesterday afternoon.  They have a new puppy and that was part of the reason for the visit.  I first saw him a few weeks ago when he was a lovely lollopy little thing; can’t believe how much he’s grown since and he’s absolutely gorgeous.  It was, of course, also good to see old friends and catch up with all the local midlife news.

Whilst visiting it occurred to me yet again that the way these midlifers live their lives is amazing.  If anyone remembers the UK TV series “The Darling Buds of May” then you’ll immediately think “nostalgia”, of living in the country, growing your own produce and having a relatively simple yet very satisfying lifestyle.  It’s also hard work!

This time of year is particularly busy for the family.  Cider is made from the apples from the orchard (standing at about 40 gallons right now!), using a home made apple press.  Dozens of jars of plum jam are already stored in the pantry, and wine making is in full production using every type of fruit, vegetable and flower available at this time of the year from our wonderful rural surroundings.

Big baskets of apples stand on the courtyard ready for storage for the winter; I came home with a bag full of Bramley’s which make delicious apple sauce to accompany winter dinners.  But much more than that, I came home with a warmth in my heart.  I always do.  I am transported back to the world in which I myself grew up.  Open fires; big cooking range; healthy wholesome food; huge family dining table; Wellington boots; dogs; cats; chickens and geese.

And the warmth generated in their home is a natural, sincere, relaxed affair, born out of a lifetime of hard work and lovingly bringing up a family.  Many thanks to both of these dear middle aged friends for yesterday’s boost in the arm.  And for the reality check that this crazy midlifer needs every now and again.

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Spotted this afternoon in local woods – midlife guy on his knees

Now that’s what I like to see – a man on his knees.  It went something like this:

Me: “So, let me guess, you’re on your knees praying to God that you don’t end up gnarled and wizened like that chunk of tree you’re looking at.  Right?”

Midlife Guy: “F**k off!”

Closer examination revealed that he was taking a shot of the dead tree branch for his midlife photo collection.

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Crispy Underfoot

Don’t you just love scuffling through autumn leaves?  Tramped through four and a half miles of the deliciously crispy, crunchy things this afternoon.  Just swished and crunched our way round the lake at Clumber.  Hugely enjoyable stroll.  Smelled amazing too.

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Photos to cobble dogs with

Been having a serious sort out in our loft.  This involved bringing down many cardboard boxes to establish exactly what we’d been hoarding.  There were five big boxes of photographs, some of them in albums and some loose.  They are now resting on the sitting room floor whilst I work my way through them, deciding which to keep and which to dispose of.

I’ve made a start.  I haven’t thrown any away.  Really can’t bear to do that.  There are literally thousands of great photos cataloguing our family life over the last 30 years or so.  I know that the answer would be to scan them and put them on to the computer or discs, but there’s something very soothing about spending time flicking through the originals.  Am I just a sentimental old midlifer?  Probably.  These pictures are memories from my teenage years through to my midlife years.  I just know that those boxes will end up back in the loft.

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