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Posts Tagged ‘Food’

Have been feeling a little off-colour this last week or so.  And then last night and today the full-on symptoms kicked in.   Good and proper.

As a midlife woman with coeliac disease ingesting gluten in any quantity at all is a big mistake.  It’s about five years now since I went through the unpleasant process of getting diagnosed, which actually was a small price to pay for the chance to feel well again.  I quite literally leapt off the floor and hugged the consultant when he told me I had coeliac disease.  I was over the moon just to know what was making me so ill.   And I learned really fast how to live with it.  It’s sometimes a nuisance; for instance eating out does have its problems, but other than that life’s a doddle once you know you have to be forever on your guard.

You see, gluten is a tricky little monster.  It has a variety of disguises and hides itself at every opportunity, as if its sole purpose is to trip you up and catch you out.   Gluten has a habit of  making you pay it the respect that it deserves.  And I do.  Constantly.

And that’s where I’ve fallen down this last week.  A local cafe owner told me about something called spelt bread, which she uses herself.  She did not, however, I now realise, during the telling of the story, explain to me if she was full-on coeliac or merely gluten intolerant.  And there is a big difference.

Anyway, I dashed off to the recommended store to hunt down said amazing loaf of spelt bread.  Now I didn’t just buy the loaf; I closely questioned a knowledgeable staff member about the ingredients and explained that it had to be gluten-free.  She disappeared to consult with the baker and his books, and returned to tell me that the yummy looking loaf in my hand was indeed gluten free and suitable for coeliacs.  Now this loaf had no food information labelling on it, as the bread is baked in-house, which was what prompted me to ask for information in the first place.

Once home with precious loaf, my daughter (who appears to be gluten-intolerant but isn’t diagnosed as such) and I couldn’t wait to slap it on the breadboard, carve off a couple of chunks and load it up with butter and strawberry jam.  I’m salivating right now just thinking about it.  God, it was delicious.  For someone who has been searching for an adequate substitute for good old-fashioned bread for the last five years,  I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

Because I’ve got so used to not having bread on a daily basis, the loaf lasted a while.  I went for a couple of days and had none at all.  At the weekend I popped into the same supermarket and picked up another uncut one.  And yesterday lunchtime, I sat down to a plateful of my favourite lunchtime snack – beans on toast, with two thick chunky slices of the lovely stuff.

Amazing.  The aftermath was horrific.  Obviously a gluten overload.  Checking on the internet it appears that spelt is an ancient form of wheat, different from modern wheat in that it hasn’t been messed about with!  And it also seems that some people who are gluten intolerant can actually tolerate the gluten in spelt bread.  It is not, however, suitable for coeliacs under any circumstances.

Right now I hate myself for being so bloody stupid.  The internet is a fantastic source of information and one I use all the time.  Why didn’t I check this out?  Maybe I really, really wanted to think I’d finally found some marvellous tasty sandwich material.  I now realise that if spelt bread was OK for coeliacs it would be widely advertised as such and it’s not.  Although several big players in food retail have made this mistake apparently.  No excuse though.  Food manufacturers should know that they are playing with people’s health and lives.  And mine’s been messed up big time this week.  I feel like shit right now.

There’s a series of emails on their way to this particular food retailer as I’m writing, requesting that they sort out their labelling on store baked goods, and asking them to train their staff more efficiently and accurately regarding food allergies and intolerances etc.

Moral learned today: If you have a potentially serious health issue, do not take other people’s advice without first checking it out.  Big Mistake.

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The first “Divorce Fair” hosted in Paris recently was attended by 4,000 people over the weekend exhibition.  In France almost half of marriages end in divorce, and some bright spark (Brigitte Gaumet) came up with idea of tapping into that booming market.  The fair brought together 60 stands offering services related to separation such as law firms and counsellors; and more diverse disciplines aimed at helping people get back on their feet, like tarot card readers, makeover specialists and self-esteem coaches.

Visitors to the exhibition were primarily women, echoing visitor statistics at wedding fairs, which we’re all too familiar with.  The two-day-long fair included talks entitled “Plastic surgery’s role in re-conquering your image” and “How to re-seduce your partner using the Gestalt method,” as well as “Meeting on the Web” and “Separation: What does a lawyer do?”

This divorce fair got this crazy midlife writer thinking.  No, not about divorce.  But about the possibilities of exhibitions and fairs.  I’ve been to many in my time, for all sorts of things – craft fairs, business fairs, trade exhibitions, recycling exhibitions to name a few.  So what other fresh themes could be used as a baseline to organise a fair or exhibition?

People flock to Fairs and Exhibitions if the theme is right

It has to be a concept rather than a product, and it has to provide answers; solutions to problems or situations, and it must be informative.

My thinking went along these lines:

Adoption?  No, too niche.  Not enough visitor potential.

Speech impediments?   Now that’s definitely a real problem for those that do have lisps and stutters.  Too embarrassing methinks; visitor numbers would not be great.

Unusual hobbies?  Thinking about it I can’t come up with a single one that’s not been covered before.

Parenting and grandparenting?  I reckon people would see this as patronising.  And there’s lots of information out there already.

Sex?  Could that work?  After mulling it over for a bit, I’m not sure I want to be involved in an event which would almost definitely be crawling with weirdos.  I may struggle to be taken seriously ever again afterwards.  Dismiss this one (provisionally); may come back to it.

Eating?  We all have to eat, but I’m pretty certain that food and drink fairs have been done to death already.

And it was the “done to death” thing that finally led me to it.

“Death”?  It’s definitely inevitable. 100% hit rate.  It’s also a major problem for those left behind, or for those that know they’re going to die (that’s all of us then).  Could we create mass appeal with a “Death” theme?  Depends how it’s worded perhaps.  “Funeral Fair” has a distinct ring to it; possibly a death knell too far though.  “Life Expiry Exhibition”?  “Wake Weekend”?  Hhmmm, pass me my Thesaurus please.

The possibilities are huge with death as a theme, don’t you think?  Undertakers; legal beagles; religious bods of every denomination and creed; specialist coffin makers; headstone purveyors; accountants; caterers (yes, that’s right, caterers); marquee hire companies (what?); mental health looker afters; musicians; will writers; florists.  My God, the list of prospective exhibitors is endless.

We would, of course, need a little light relief because, let’s face it, the whole event could be a little sombre in tone if we don’t mind, and we really want people to have a good time.  A smattering of subtle, joyful background music maybe to ward off any depression?

We could have an adjoining hall even for visitors to adjourn to when everything becomes a little too much for them, with lovely food and hot and cold drinks.  I’m thinking to provide a party-like atmosphere in here so that visitors can duck and dive between the two halls – alternating between quick fixes of life and death.  Now I admit that all of these plans still need a little fine-tuning, but I reckon my “death” theme idea has definitely got legs.  If anyone has any other theme ideas I’d be very happy to consider them of course.

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It occurs to me that huge chunks of the British population really do not care what they look like.  This opinion was formed whilst shopping in a large South Yorkshire town a good few miles away from my home this afternoon.

The place has a fantastic market; the best for miles around I’d say.  If it’s food you’re after then this market is short of nothing.  I’ve never seen so many meat stalls, fish stalls, fruit and vegetable stalls, cheese stalls and delicatessen stalls anywhere before.  I love the place for fresh food shopping.  I would suggest, however, that you don’t go browsing in the food halls with an empty stomach, because you’ll spend more than you intended, guaranteed.

This busy town also has a great indoor shopping mall, recently extended to house some of the best shops and brands known to the UK.  There are some marvellous designer shops tucked away down side streets as well, with window displays to die for.

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Midlife women shopping in South Yorkshire town

But the people walking about.  Dear, oh dear.  They are a sight to behold.  Well, most of them I’d say.  Today I’ve seen young and middle aged women with tatty hair, in baggy dresses with anoraks over; young men and midlife men in ill-fitting jeans and cheap shirts; and numerous teenagers dressed in shell-suit style fabrics with scruffy trainers.  There was a distinct lack of well dressed people out and about.  And every time I go there I think the same thing.

Ill-dressed midlife men hanging out in South Yorkshire town

Ill-dressed midlife men hanging out in South Yorkshire town

This town has a busy, somewhat affluent feel to it.  The shops are full to brimming with fashionable and attractive clothes.  So why does the population here appear to own nothing but mismatched clothes from jumble sales or charity shops?  And more to the point, how on earth do the shops survive?  Who the hell is buying their goods?  Because it’s definitely not the local population this midlifer was shopping with today.

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