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Posts Tagged ‘life’

It’s that time of year again when people are harping on about how they’re resolving to improve themselves and their lives in 2010.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Self-improvement is always a good thing.  And this particular New Year could quite easily be seen as a crucial time for personal commitment to major changes or doing something amazing; after all it is the start of a whole new decade.

Just browsing through magazines, and on the internet over the last few days, it occurs to me that many of us are likely to set ourselves unattainable targets and unrealistic goals this New Year based on what it is we think we should be trying to achieve, as dictated to us by random spoon-fed information. It also occurs to me that most of us will be setting ourselves up for a fall.  And consequent disappointment.  And ultimately feeling rubbish about ourselves.

I’m a real sucker myself for information and advice on “how to …”.  I’ve soaked up entire libraries of it over the years.  I’ve implemented some; completely dismissed most of it.  There’s no shortage of techniques one can use to achieve great things, and I don’t doubt that they will all work in their own way for different people.  Visualisation is a popular theory and if applied religiously we will get exactly what we desire.  Apparently.  This New Year I’m going to utilise fantasising, dreaming, visualisation, and developing myself a positive mantra or two, to achieve incredible things.  I reckon if I work hard enough at this then that so far elusive date with the beautiful Jude Law will actually happen.  No, not a word please … Anything is possible.  You know that.

The beautiful Jude Law

I shall also be exercising determination (that’s realistic?) in my quest to stop smoking.  I can actually visualise myself as a non-smoker as I did manage to abstain for a full three years before starting again.  This to me is a realistic goal, although there is no point in my taking advantage of the many expensive aids available to achieve a smoke-free existence, as they’ve all fallen by the wayside in previous attempts.  Point is – how much do I want to give up smoking?  Very much.  And that’s the key that will ultimately unlock the “non smoker” box for me.  How badly do I want to spend time with Jude Law?  God, that would be amazing.  But it’s not going to happen.  That bloody Sienna Miller is back in the frame now.   Be realistic Sooz, and slot in another DVD.

Getting fit absolutely has to be on my list this year.  I’m no longer a spring chicken; a midlife woman to be honest, and know that I have to work at it these days, but there’s no way I’m going to saddle myself with the obligatory gym membership.  I know that I’d start off with the best of intentions but then fail to find the time further down the line.  It’ll have to be option #2 – we’ll buy a treadmill and install it in the garage, because I know that I would definitely go for a trot in my ‘jamas at 6am before anyone else is awake.

Another resolution of mine is to spend more time with my friends, and be better at staying in touch with people. (Hold tight Bernadette, I know I’ve not replied to your recent letter; I’m not going to – I’m coming to visit you instead.)

The goals and targets I set myself for 2010 will stretch me, and at the same time they will be achievable (but not too easy), otherwise the whole exercise would be pointless.  I’ll have a few specifics.  Like breaking my current addiction to Millionaire’s Flapjack.  Mostly, though, I’m aiming to go for the general theories outlined below, all to do with ongoing development and attitude as I’m really not in favour of torturing myself unnecessarily.  Self-flagellation does not float my boat.

TEN SIMPLE TRUTHS THAT LEAD TO AN AMAZING LIFE:

1.  Say Yes to Stress

“An amazing life requires resilience.”

2.  If Not Now, When?

“An amazing life requires living in the moment.”

3.  The Light at the End of the Tunnel

“An amazing life requires optimism.”

4.  It Is What It Is

“An amazing life requires acceptance.”

5.  Laugh It Up!

“An amazing life requires humour.”

6.  Put a Spin on It

“An amazing life requires creativity.”

7.  Too Much of a Good Thing Can Be Too Much

“An amazing life requires moderation.”

8.  Just Show Up

“An amazing life requires responsibility.”

9.  But What Does It All Mean?

“An amazing life requires meaning.”

10.  Join The Party!

“An amazing life requires connection.”

These ten simple truths are the basis of one of the best books I’ve ever read –

“Life Is Short – Wear Your Party Pants”  by Loretta Laroche

Loretta Laroche's "Life Is Short, Wear Your Party Pants"

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This appealed to me; it was sent to me by my good friend, Edwina.  As a young woman it would never have occurred to me that I might want to slow time down.  As a midlife woman, however, the idea of going backwards is very appealing.  Maybe this will also strike a chord with other middle-aged men and women out there.

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The first Christmas card of 2009 fell on to our doormat this morning.  The very kind sender was very considerately wishing our family a “Very Merry Christmas” and a “Happy New Year”.  I’m not being ungrateful, really I’m not, but I’ve filed it.  Until it becomes relevant.

Well, I can hardly put it up on the window sill, now can I?  It’s November 21st for God’s sake.

I’m still in late summer / early autumn mode if I’m honest.  You know – fluffy socks some days, bare feet on others.  And winter’s not officially with us until December 21st.

For me, Christmas should begin one week before and last until January 2nd, maximum.  My friends keep asking, “Are you all sorted for Christmas?” No, actually, I’m not, and I’m not going to be for a while yet.  I’ll get sorted for Christmas, when it’s Christmas.

Bah humbug?  No, definitely not.  Christmas is a wonderful time of year.  But should it take up weeks and weeks beforehand?   No!  I’m really busy with other more important things.

In my view those lovely well-wishing people who send Christmas cards in November clearly do not have enough going on in their lives.  Christmas starts on 18th December and not before.

Signed:  Busy, grumpy, midlife writer

P.S. Have to say, though, I did come across this whilst writing the post.  I absolutely love it because it’s light-hearted, bright and happy.  Think I’ll send something similar this year (but not until 18th!).

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Mrs Hughes jokes about midlife, family life and kids. Funny stuff – midlife humour from a middle aged mother and wife to put a smile on the faces of all midlifers out there. Enjoy this video.

more about “Funny Stuff to raise a midlife smile …“, posted with vodpod

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It’s a habit, a good one I think.  It’s something I’ve always done on automatic pilot; sort of built in, but it’s only as I’ve reached middle age that I understand how important it really is.  My daughter asked me yesterday as we were waiting at a pedestrian crossing in the car, ” What do you think it is that makes a woman’s face look that way when she’s old?”

I was thinking exactly the same thing at exactly the same moment.  The woman crossing the road in front of us had a face all sucked in, turned down and miserable looking.  Have you noticed that about some middle aged and older people?  It looked like this woman was wearing all the troubles of the whole world on her face.  Either that or someone had hit her with a shovel.

It seems to me that the more we dwell on the shit that life deals out to us, the more we look like it.  As a family we’ve had more than our fair share of troubles over the years.  And you know what, I refuse to lie down and just take it.  Bottom line in any dire situation – “Will this kill me?”  Every time the answer is “No, it won’t actually”.

My midlife habit then, in fact my whole lifetime habit, is counting my blessings every day, properly, be glad about all the good stuff, embrace new things, smile, laugh out loud, enjoy every aspect of life.  If you really do believe that life is good then it is.  Simple.

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